:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
