I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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