There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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