Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
