they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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