I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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