the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
