Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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