I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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