Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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