Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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