help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
