I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
