Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
