i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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