you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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