I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize