Moan for me like Helen Keller
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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