dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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