I am full of burrito and curiosity
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize