how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
