He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
