that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
