He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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