We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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