I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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