is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
