the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
