Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
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It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize