I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
