No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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