he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
