he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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