Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
