ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
