you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
