Did you bedazzle the elevator?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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