can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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