You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
