your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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