she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
