Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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