He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
