she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
