do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
