What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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