we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
