Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
false alarm, still single
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