so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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