Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have aggressive nipples.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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