Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
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She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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