fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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