you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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