he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
