What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
