no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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