Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
