Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
