It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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