if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
