Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize