my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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